Thursday, March 20, 2014
TO DO #01
Big City Dreams
Hello lovelies. Ugh, so here I am ...AGAIN! Stuck in between a hard place and a really hard place , ;)wink wink ! I have had about 3 weeks of constant job searching, emailing , resume editing and now it's time for the calling and scheduling an interview. I hope they like me!! I'm pretty good at getting a long with everybody , most of the time because I get to know how people operate and behave accordingly. Though, I'm pretty damn tired of changing who I am to fit somebody else's needs, I've done it for so long that I've deprived myself from expressing who I truly am. Well, kinda. I am genuinely a nice and considerate person who tends to care about everyone. This trait is mostly good but also f*d when people take advantage of your kindness. It sucks , badd. Though I learned so much from the people that have been in my lives, family, best friends people that I have , "love" and especially a person that I have LOVE interests with <3
Today is about progression ! I have a to do plan to make and things to do on that to do list (:
Today is about progression ! I have a to do plan to make and things to do on that to do list (:
Ladies and girls!
So, I'm just writing a post {and watching family guy}, and my mind drifts to thinking about friends. This leads me to think about how I usually get a long with men then women. Or, let's see...how do I rephrase this. Well for one, I get a long with everrrrryone....practically...I am just really kind hearted and a little bit of a push over. Though as I grow, I'm learning to have a little more backbone--well, it's not like I can grow more bone, all that I'm doing is learning how to actually use it.
So there's this little part of the brain called the Oedipus complex! I don't know all the deets but it has something to with our parents teaching us gender roles, from infants we learn how a men and women behave. When we begin to socially interact , we learn everything from our parents, siblings , friends and from everything around us. We learn a lot by the toys that we are allowed to play with. In a anthropology class , an assignment had been given to us stating to walk down an aisle of toys and observe what you see.
I witnessed lots of pink and purple coloured toys . Lots of baby dolls, strollers, barbies, mermaids , princess, dolls from kid movies and shows. Doll houses, grocery carts with food, easy bake ovens and fake nails and makeup. Also tons of One Direction dolls, some sung and some didn't, they were pretty bad impressions of actual faces of human beings . I believe this teaches girls to take care of babies and to encourage the idea if being a mother when we are babies ourselves! The idea of grocery shopping and cooking are enforced (though I have to admit I did love my easy bake oven). Also the portrayal of Barbies and dolls are so , "perfected" and their characters are deemed as more wonderful, beautiful and better than everyone else, the Cinderella compared to her her ugly step sisters. Encouraging girls that if they don't look like these princess' --or better yet the girls that do look like these princess' are better than you. That if you put on fake nails, makeup and extensions that you will be just like all your beautiful dolls.
For boys there were lots of black and grey coloured toys, action "hero figures" (even the term of dolls are gender biased) such as superman , the Incredible Hulk , Darth Vader and wrestling stars. Light sabers of course, little hot wheels cars, fire trucks and guns. This teaches boys to be the super heros of society. To have lots of muscle and to be aggressive and fight and wear dark colours. That to be attractive to women you have to look a certain way and behave a certain way.
Most of all , boys knowing that their not suppose to play with girl toys teaches them that women are suppose to cook and take care of the children, and that girls are suppose to look like Barbies , because that is , "girl stuff." Girls learn that boys are suppose to look like Superman, and they are the protectors --they're Heros, fire fighters they are aggressive.
My main point that I'm getting at is that, when your mom is aggressive and crazy to you and you become more comfortable with your father rather than your mother, you become more comfortable with men then women. I guess I'm talking about myself though...it's just that my dad was nicer then my mom. I was taught and continue to learn and am fine tuned to the sourness seen in women. How poisonous and ignorant that they can be. Though it is not just a gender thing, it is a human thing. And my moms not totally evil. But , I just ....tend to get a long with men more then women. Though I do get a long with women and I myself am an equal opportunist when it comes to loving humans(; but I also hate everybody...but not everrrryyyone {:
So there's this little part of the brain called the Oedipus complex! I don't know all the deets but it has something to with our parents teaching us gender roles, from infants we learn how a men and women behave. When we begin to socially interact , we learn everything from our parents, siblings , friends and from everything around us. We learn a lot by the toys that we are allowed to play with. In a anthropology class , an assignment had been given to us stating to walk down an aisle of toys and observe what you see.
I witnessed lots of pink and purple coloured toys . Lots of baby dolls, strollers, barbies, mermaids , princess, dolls from kid movies and shows. Doll houses, grocery carts with food, easy bake ovens and fake nails and makeup. Also tons of One Direction dolls, some sung and some didn't, they were pretty bad impressions of actual faces of human beings . I believe this teaches girls to take care of babies and to encourage the idea if being a mother when we are babies ourselves! The idea of grocery shopping and cooking are enforced (though I have to admit I did love my easy bake oven). Also the portrayal of Barbies and dolls are so , "perfected" and their characters are deemed as more wonderful, beautiful and better than everyone else, the Cinderella compared to her her ugly step sisters. Encouraging girls that if they don't look like these princess' --or better yet the girls that do look like these princess' are better than you. That if you put on fake nails, makeup and extensions that you will be just like all your beautiful dolls.
For boys there were lots of black and grey coloured toys, action "hero figures" (even the term of dolls are gender biased) such as superman , the Incredible Hulk , Darth Vader and wrestling stars. Light sabers of course, little hot wheels cars, fire trucks and guns. This teaches boys to be the super heros of society. To have lots of muscle and to be aggressive and fight and wear dark colours. That to be attractive to women you have to look a certain way and behave a certain way.
Most of all , boys knowing that their not suppose to play with girl toys teaches them that women are suppose to cook and take care of the children, and that girls are suppose to look like Barbies , because that is , "girl stuff." Girls learn that boys are suppose to look like Superman, and they are the protectors --they're Heros, fire fighters they are aggressive.
My main point that I'm getting at is that, when your mom is aggressive and crazy to you and you become more comfortable with your father rather than your mother, you become more comfortable with men then women. I guess I'm talking about myself though...it's just that my dad was nicer then my mom. I was taught and continue to learn and am fine tuned to the sourness seen in women. How poisonous and ignorant that they can be. Though it is not just a gender thing, it is a human thing. And my moms not totally evil. But , I just ....tend to get a long with men more then women. Though I do get a long with women and I myself am an equal opportunist when it comes to loving humans(; but I also hate everybody...but not everrrryyyone {:
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
To be with or to be with out , that is the question
It's one of those times that I have to sit back and think, what is it that I really want out of life. What do I truly want to do with myself ...sometimes it's just so hard figuring it all out but I'll get there. In my life I've made some, "Wrong turns" but now I'm trying to reroute myself to the correct destination. When the negative seems to over weigh the #positive vibes, it can be so overwhelming! The passing of a family member , of a loved one, of a beloved friend or pet <3 The pain , digs deep into the realm of pure feeling , that it forever changes you. Struggling through divorce, or separation of your parents has always scared me. I have been lucky to have both of my parents together and married for 18 years, so being a fragile child I never dealt with spending the week with my mom and the weekend with my dad like many of my friends and people that I know and care for that have.
Though I never dealt with the separation, the tensions and threat of divorce has been persistent since I was a child. Not everyday , and not always but when it happened it was bad. That is a story for a mother day. Today is about using that strength that is gained from bad experience to rests posh the future(:
Though I never dealt with the separation, the tensions and threat of divorce has been persistent since I was a child. Not everyday , and not always but when it happened it was bad. That is a story for a mother day. Today is about using that strength that is gained from bad experience to rests posh the future(:
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